Troubled waters

I am really feeling out of sorts.  I was sick at the end of last week, and that put me off my game.  I had not really recovered from the combination of the holidays, house guests, and surprise travel anyway.  I did manage to do my laundry, which is something, but I still feel like my house is a disaster area.  I know many of you think I am crazy, and I realize that the standard that I hold for ‘clean’ is really different than most people.  But that does not diminish the feeling that my house is an unorganized pit with a ton of dog fur on everything.

I also paid the property taxes, which was just depressing.  I made a budget for 2009, and that was also depressing.  I am so glad that Joey has been able to take time off from work.  He is a much healthier person, and there is no price I can put on that.  If I had it to do over, I would make the same decisions again.  I have no regrets at all on that score.  But here is the ugly truth I had to face yesterday: budgeting is less fun with less income.  Seems obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

The economy is freaking me out.  The tales of doom and gloom from all the news outlets are really beginning to worry me.  Also, high tech companies laying people off is a concern, since I have a wonderful, talented husband who would like to get a job in that arena.  Apparently we are in the worst economic downturn since the great depression.  I am not always great with 20th century history, but I think I remember that there was a significant lack of jobs during the great depression.  I’m pretty sure I’m right about that….  Joey has also assured me that Texas is better off that most of the rest of the country, and that Austin is in good shape compared to the rest of Texas, but the ‘what if’ monster keeps pestering me.  I have a propensity to worry – I try not to.  I realize it is pretty useless, but it still happens.  Maybe writing about it will help.

Lastly, my work is very busy right now.  I am swamped with meetings and planning sessions, and I can’t remember the last time I was in the classroom.  I miss the classroom!  My boss has informed me that all non-billable travel (which is what I do) is suspended for the time being.  Prudent, smart, probably saving jobs within the company, but that doesn’t make it fun or reassuring.  Anyway, I hope the travel ban is lifted before the spring, when I am supposed to go to Singapore or Mumbai.  In the mean time, I think I will just be grateful about having a job, one car that is paid off, a place to live, and a wonderful, loving husband who, in an attempt to help me fell less stressed, is cleaning the kitchen at this very moment.